Tuesday, May 18, 2010

When did this happen?

OK, brief break from strictly wedding stuff to discuss the nature of Daniel's and my relationship as of right now.

I've been saying for ages that for all practical purposes, Daniel and I are already married.  The only thing that I expected to actually change after marriage was that we would start sharing money.  Daniel would be fine with doing that now, but as I have only been out of college and thus paying for everything myself for a year, I put my foot down and said that I wanted to have financial independence until we got married.  I wanted to prove to myself that I could make it with just my money at some point in my life.

Anyway, I bring this up because I just realized that Daniel and I aren't really thinking about his money and my money anymore.  When we have to make financial decisions, we base them off of how much money we have together.

I do not know how to feel about this exactly.  On the one hand, this makes me feel like I'm shirking my duty to myself to feel independent.  However, it seems that for the first time in our relationship, I'm actually better off financially than Daniel.  I mean, if we count his student loans, I've been better off for a while, but I tend to just count how much money each of us has in the immediate sense since that seems to actually affect our lives more.  And now that I have a new job :D, and Daniel's not sure if he'll be able to get financial aid for his summer class, I'm actually going to have more money than him in the very near future.

I think that makes the sharing money concept OK with me because I only was worried about never being financially independent.  Being the one pulling more weight financially is something I'm totally fine with, mostly because it will probably never happen again, and I would like to enjoy it while it lasts.

Besides, it's probably good to ease into sharing money because I know I'm going to have problems adjusting to that one.  Let's just say that the two of us don't always agree on what's worth spending money on, and when money is tight, that could be a source of contention.  So I think maybe this is actually good.  We'll have to make major financial decisions together before getting married, and then maybe agreeing on (or at least living with) less significant ones afterward will be easier.

So, married people, is it hard to share everything financially?  Or does that make things easier since it's all one big pool?  Unmarried (and married actually) people, how do you feel about waiting to do some things until you're married?  Is there anything that's important to you to wait on?  Why?

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