Friday, January 28, 2011

Talking Dirty

Why does no one in the wedding blogging world ever talk about sex?  Anyone?  Honestly, I do not get it.  I mean, sex is such an integral part of the wedding and marriage and all that, but I have never once seen a post about it.  Boudoir photos and bachelorette parties, yes, but never a word about the honeymoon or the wedding night.

Why not?  We talk about everything else wedding-related.  I mean, I did a 3-part series about my SHOES for God's sake, and people actually read it.  So what is our deal when it comes to sex?  For some of you, your wedding night will be your first time, so I get why you don't feel the need to discuss it beforehand.  But what about the rest of you?  Most of you are living with your fiances, so I can only assume you don't feel the need to wait.  Do we feel talking about our sex lives is a little too private to be sprawled on the internet?  Do we want to keep the wedding night intimate?  Or do we who love obsessing over napkin colors or favors just not care much about the night that follows all our hard work and planning?  Does that get left by the wayside?  Cuz I've got to admit, I fully believe that I may pass out Heartbreakers-style (Mirkin, USA, 2001) as soon as we get to the room.

Whatever the reason, I'm breaking the cycle.  We're going to have a conversation about the wedding night.

Despite the fact that I may pass out as soon as the bed is in sight, I'd really like the wedding night to be special.  For me, this can be rather difficult physically.  My uterus is tilted, and between that and endometriosis, sex has always been painful for me.  I have to spend a lot of the time concentrating on getting the positions right so that I don't get hurt.

This makes trying new positions a rather unpleasant experience.  We used to experiment, but after a while, it became pretty clear that missionary style was the only sure bet.

Nonetheless, I'd like to do something different for the wedding night and honeymoon, just to make it special.  But I have no idea what I'm doing when researching these kinds of things.

And so, I am going to start by asking you.  What works for you?  How do you keep it fresh?  And where should I look to find new ideas that aren't too crazy, stuff that I might actually be able to do?  I don't want to just Google it if I can avoid it because, um, scary.

I realize this can be a touchy (pun intended) subject, so I'm not looking for details, just general advice and links.


  1. i credit you for talking about this!! maybe a little boudoir session could be an amazing gift as well!

  2. TBH as a Weddingbee blogger, there are certain topics I didn't want to tackle because you do get a lot of snarky comments (especially nowadays). You have to have a thick skin but there's only so much a girl can take sometime. After I made a very controversial post where I was basically burned at the stake I decided to just talk about the fluff. I know, I'm totally weak sauce.

    I know this is old school but I've always found this LJ community very helpful: livejournaldotcom/community/sextips. You can look through the archives and someone will have asked the same question.

    We are pretty boring so I cannot say much ;)

  3. @Kristin: Fair enough, I have to admit, I probably would not post anything like this on WeddingBee.

  4. Strip dancing. Not exactly romantic enough for the wedding night, but incredibly sexy and men love it.


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