Saturday, August 28, 2010

Skipping out on Tradition

The time has come for the inevitable "traditions we are skipping" post.  There may need to be amendments made down the line, but as of now, we are pretty sure we're ditching these:

1.  Veil:  I hate veils.  I hate, hate, hate veils.  I hate the history behind them, I hate the way they look, and I hate the way they cover me and  my lovely dress up!  Basically, I hate their very purpose.  There may be some cool-looking veils out there.  My friend tried one on that was emblazoned with tiny pearls and rhinestones that was pretty cool, and Spanish veils can be awfully pretty, and while I couldn't wear one, I think some birdcage veils look really good, but on the whole, I am definitely in the anti-veil camp.  I'm not wearing one.  Even if my hatred abated down the road, I think of this as an unnecessary expense.

2.  The Garter Toss:  I don't know why I totally want to do the bouquet toss but really find the garter toss misogynistic, but I do.  Maybe it's because 80 people do not need to see Daniel sticking his hands up my dress.  Garters are also an unnecessary expense.  We're not doing it.  However, I'd be cool with Daniel throwing something else if we could come up with something good.

3.  Traditional Ceremony:  I'm an atheist, and Daniel's a non-religious Jew.  Traditional ceremony of any sort wouldn't really capture us.  We'll probably do what many a blogger has done and write our own ceremony.  We also really want to have a friend officiate.  Haven't quite decided who yet, but we're pretty stuck on that idea.

4.  Not Seeing the Bride before the Wedding:  Don't like this veil either.  And I wouldn't be able to sleep the night before without Daniel, so we'll definitely be sharing a room, and we'll probably have to do a fair amount of set-up together the day of.  However, I am still hopeful that we won't see each other all prettied up until the actual ceremony.

5.  Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, and Something Blue:  Where did this even come from?  I just don't care.  I didn't even know about this tradition until later in life, so it has no sentimental value for me.

6.  Traditional Wedding Band:  We're still deciding between a few rings, but neither of us will have a traditional-looking wedding band.  No solid bands or little diamonds here.  We want something a little more unique.

7.  Addressing Invitations by Hand:  Um, we don't have great penmanship, and I am not paying someone to do this, so yay for printed labels!

8.  Throwing Rice:  Yeah, I'm not a bird-killer.  But perhaps bubbles...

9.  Wedding on the Weekend:  Don't know for sure about this yet, but there is an excellent chance that we will have the wedding on a Monday to cut costs or avoid crowds.  We've definitely visited venues where this would be necessary financially, and since most of our guests are OOT, it wouldn't be much of an inconvenience to them.

10.  First Dance:  Oh we're doing one all right, but it won't be traditional.  Other than that, I'm going to have to leave you hanging, sorry!

11.  Bridal Party:  Each of us is going to have a member of our bridal party who is the opposite sex.  I want my brother standing by me, and Daniel wants a close female friend from college.  We don't want our people on the other person's side just because of their gender, so there will be a little mixing in our lines.

I'm sure there are more, but I'm going to leave it there for now because so much is still uncertain.

What traditions are you chucking?


  1. for #7, check this out ( it's a great site that i was GOING to use but my mom insisted on hand-writing all of our invites (insane!).

    i'm with you on the no garter throwing thing, but i'm still wearing one for fun ( :)

  2. this isn't really a specific wedding tradition, but derek and i have already gotten in multiple disagreements about "the changing of the female's last name" tradition.

  3. Hey, we are skipping all those things too! Except we are having a wedding on a Saturday- ahhhh, the joys of having a wedding in your own backyard!


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