A Cake Is Born

You might remember from my tasting exploits in Chicago at Cream Cake Company and Bittersweet that I am quite enamored with cake.  Enough to lie about where and when I was getting married just to get free cake.  Yeah, I feel kind of bad, but not bad enough to regret it.

You might also recall that once Daniel and I decided to get married in NorCal, the question of where we would get our cake was answered for us.  There was no way we were going to give up getting our cake at Katrina Rozelle.

So when we were last in the Bay Area, we stopped by Katrina Rozelle for our cake tasting.  I dearly wish I had not felt like I was going to die while we were there.  I might actually have gotten some pictures if I hadn't been so delirious.  But even though my ability to smell was essentially nonexistent at the time, it was still some of the best cake I have ever tasted.

It was both very easy and very difficult for us to choose a flavor.  All of the cakes were so freaking amazing that it was hard to turn them down.  It felt...wrong to deny any of them.  Nonetheless, there were two that immediately stood out to both of us, and one that dominated even those two.  Imagine luscious devil's food cake (chocolate for those of you who are not as obsessed as I am) with a filling that perfectly blends chocolate and caramel, topped with rich chocolate ganache-like frosting.  Good as god, sweet as sin.  The perfect balance.  Especially for us, since Daniel is as great a lover of caramel as I am of chocolate.  From the first taste, we knew this was the cake for us.  The perfect blend of the things we love.  And so our cake will be the Erica Torte.

Choosing the inside was easy, but the outside required more time.  We've been looking at cake styles for a while, and we had an idea of what we wanted.  Though our tastes do not entirely coincide, we both like fresh flowers, particularly orchids.  Daniel doesn't like roses for the cake, and I didn't really mind our cake's flowers differing from the other arrangements, so we decided to go with these flowers:

Martha Stewart may be a bit crazy, but she sure does have taste.

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They work with our colors while still standing out, and these flowers are just different.  We like them.

As for the arrangement, I originally was really set on something like this:

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Ignore the different sized layers.  I like flowers on top and then small groups of flowers on alternating sides of the lower layers.  However, that just didn't feel right with orchids.  As we looked through pictures, we were both pretty taken with cascades of orchids, especially on smaller cakes (and with our $3.50/slice cake-cutting fee, we're going to have to have a small cake) like this:

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We both want a round cake and hate those little beady things around the edges, but other than that, we liked this one a lot.  In the end, we decided to format our cake like this:

 

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Imagine this as a two-tiered, much smaller cake with our orchids and a thin blue ribbon of marzipan instead of the dreaded beads, and that's our cake.  I rather like it.  It would have been nice to have a bigger cake, at least a three-tiered one, but I guess with all of the other food we're going to have, it's not really necessary anyway.  It'll be cute, and it will taste amazing, so we're happy.

But I must leave you with the image that we couldn't afford and that looks totally different from all of the other cakes I like, but that I completely and utterly fell in love with anyway:

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Imagine it all round, three-tiered with the vines covering the whole thing.  Le sigh.  It is so beautiful.

Anyway, do you love cake as much as I do, or did you decide to go a different route with dessert?  I'd love to see pictures of your cake or ones that you found particularly appealing.

Oh, you want an invitation? All right, if we must...

Being in a state of immobility and until recently, lacking the ability to sit up straight for my than an hour, I haven't done one bloody thing for the wedding since the surgery.  I haven't really done anything useful since the surgery.  But today, the two-week mark, it is time to jump back on the "useful member of society" bandwagon, and I did so the most painful way possible:  I started looking for jobs and invitations.

Oh how I do not care about invitations.  Daniel and I agree that this is an area where every expense should be spared and as little time as possible should be wasted.

I do want to have them, and I'd like them to be nice, but that's pretty much the extent of my interest.  I will never understand people whose ultimate wedding goal is to make their own invitations and have them be perfect.  I am just not crafty like that.

So my invitation inspiration folder is filled with cheap, easy invitation-making websites, the kind where you fill in some text, and they send you the printed version.  Easy, peasy.

Thus far, we rather like this one:

from 123print.com

(Daniel won't let me put the "sanity" part in the actual invite :( )

Simple, elegant, and appropriate.  Not particularly original, but we're not particularly concerned about that.  I'd be ready to order after less than an hour's search if it weren't for one little practical detail that I actually care about.

As you all know, the guest list and I have a hate/hate relationship.  The stress it causes me extends to the actual guests and their ability to return their invitations on time and with the proper number of people.  As in, I dearly do not want people to invite people who were not actually invited by writing their names in on the RSVP card.

To avoid having to have the "um, actually, that person wasn't invited" talk, I came up with a plan a while back.  This plan involves having personalized RSVP cards with the names of all of the invitees written out on the card, so you can check "yes" or "no" for each person.  No room to write in names means no uninvited guests on the RSVP card, right?

Unfortunately, sites like 123print.com do not seem to have this kind of personalization.  My first foray onto Etsy.com seemed like the logical solution, but it has yet to produce satisfactory results.

And so I turn to you, dear readers.  Help!  My requirements are simple:  I want cheap invitations that do not require me to do anything more than type in their text but that allow enough customization for me to produce the personalized RSVP cards described above.  And I don't want them to look like crap.  That's pretty much it.  Ideas?  Websites?  People?  Do you know anywhere/anyone who can do this for me?

Talking Dirty

Why does no one in the wedding blogging world ever talk about sex?  Anyone?  Honestly, I do not get it.  I mean, sex is such an integral part of the wedding and marriage and all that, but I have never once seen a post about it.  Boudoir photos and bachelorette parties, yes, but never a word about the honeymoon or the wedding night.

Why not?  We talk about everything else wedding-related.  I mean, I did a 3-part series about my SHOES for God's sake, and people actually read it.  So what is our deal when it comes to sex?  For some of you, your wedding night will be your first time, so I get why you don't feel the need to discuss it beforehand.  But what about the rest of you?  Most of you are living with your fiances, so I can only assume you don't feel the need to wait.  Do we feel talking about our sex lives is a little too private to be sprawled on the internet?  Do we want to keep the wedding night intimate?  Or do we who love obsessing over napkin colors or favors just not care much about the night that follows all our hard work and planning?  Does that get left by the wayside?  Cuz I've got to admit, I fully believe that I may pass out Heartbreakers-style (Mirkin, USA, 2001) as soon as we get to the room.

Whatever the reason, I'm breaking the cycle.  We're going to have a conversation about the wedding night.

Despite the fact that I may pass out as soon as the bed is in sight, I'd really like the wedding night to be special.  For me, this can be rather difficult physically.  My uterus is tilted, and between that and endometriosis, sex has always been painful for me.  I have to spend a lot of the time concentrating on getting the positions right so that I don't get hurt.

This makes trying new positions a rather unpleasant experience.  We used to experiment, but after a while, it became pretty clear that missionary style was the only sure bet.

Nonetheless, I'd like to do something different for the wedding night and honeymoon, just to make it special.  But I have no idea what I'm doing when researching these kinds of things.

And so, I am going to start by asking you.  What works for you?  How do you keep it fresh?  And where should I look to find new ideas that aren't too crazy, stuff that I might actually be able to do?  I don't want to just Google it if I can avoid it because, um, scary.

I realize this can be a touchy (pun intended) subject, so I'm not looking for details, just general advice and links.

Nicole and Andrew's Wedding

Hello Everyone!  I am alive!  You probably figured I was since posts have been going up, but everything's actually been on autopilot since I went into the hospital, so this is my real return to blogland.  The surgery went really well, and I am still in possession of BOTH fallopian tubes, so my fertility is secure for now.  Recovery, however, has been significantly worse than I expected and just sitting at the computer is still a strain.  Fortunately, my friend Nicole finally sent me a guest post on her and Andrew's wedding, so she's going to do my job for me today.  I've mentioned their wedding before.  It was the first one I went to after meeting Daniel, and both the bride and the groom will be in our wedding party.  Nicole and Andrew got married right out of college, so they had to do everything on a really tight budget, and let me tell you, that is no mean task in the Bay Area.  Nonetheless, they pulled it off beautifully.  But Nicole can tell it much better than I can...P.S.  All photos were provided by Nicole, so I do not know who took many of them, so let's just assume none of you actually care.

(editor's note:  Nicole and Andrew were the first BookWorlds marriage, Daniel and I will be the second, and the most likely third is a couple named Nicole and Jorge.  Coincidence that all three are with a Nicole?  I think not.)

The Meet: Andrew and I originally met our freshmen year at Berkeley, in a class about "The Lord of the Rings." We became friends through this love of Tolkien, as well as our uncanny ability to end up living in the same neighborhood. (Our first year we were in adjoining dorms, our second we ended up living within one block of each other near the Ashby BART.) We didn't start dating until our sophomore year.

The Engagement: In our junior year, we decided to study abroad together in Copenhagen, Denmark. At the end of our semester, we took a five week spin around Europe, ending up in Paris on New Year's Eve. That night, in sight of the Eiffel Tower, on the banks of the Seine, at the stroke of midnight, Andrew proposed to me with a ring he had bought earlier that day in Paris, as well as a book ("Bilbo's Song") that I had previously stipulated would be given to me by my betrothed someday.  (editor's note:  Daniel is still mad at Andrew for ruining all future proposals by making theirs so perfect)

The Planning: We agreed we wouldn't be married until after we graduated, so that left a little time before I was allowed any planning. We started our preparations about 15 months in advance, and Andrew was involved in every step of the way, which made for some interesting disagreements. Like many couples, the biggest concern was the guest list. Andrew had many more friends and family members than I, and he seemed intent to invite them all. In the end, we invited around 100-125 people, with about 75 showing up. 

 (editor's note:  That's my Daniel as Best Man up there)

The Wedding Party: As I mentioned above, Andrew has a lot of friends, so naturally he wanted to include them all in the wedding. We compromised at having five groomsmen and the same number of bridesmaids. I chose Sarah, my best friend from college, as my maid of honor, and two other college friends, Anna and Cynthia as bridesmaids. I really wanted to include my best friend from high school, Val, who is like my little sister, and my cousin Amber, with whom I spent most of my childhood, so that nicely made up the five girls in the wedding party. Unfortunately, with two bridesmaids in SoCal and one in England, it made planning difficult. I managed to get by with Cynthia and Sarah for a long time, but about three months before the wedding, Cynthia and I had a big fight, and she dropped out of the wedding (never travel with friends, it's a bad idea). This was really hard on me, and while we eventually resolved our problems, we didn't get everything worked out in time for her to be in the wedding. We decided to balance our wedding party; we'd have our Best Man, Daniel (Nicole's fiancé) stay at the altar with Andrew on the Big Day, thus leaving four groomsmen to accompany my four bridesmaids. Andrew's cousin Savannah was the flower girl, and my brother Ricky walked me down the aisle. The best wedding party decision we made was to have our friend Sue officiate the wedding. Sue has always been like a mother to us both, and had given us lots of useful advice over the years, and we felt she was the person who knew us the best as a couple.

The Budget: Andrew and I had managed to save about $5,000 for the wedding, and we were convinced we could do our wedding on this budget. Thankfully, we had some help. Andrew's dad paid for the alcohol and the rehearsal dinner (total about $1,000), while my parents paid for and prepared the reception food ($500). A good friend paid about $300 for our flowers, which she arranged herself, including bouquets, and my grandmother chipped in $350 for our amazing Katrina Rozelle cake and made all the table runners herself. Despite this generous support, when all was said and done, Andrew and I ended up putting about $3,000 on our credit card to pay for our wedding, but were able to pay most of that off within a month of the wedding, thanks to wedding cash and stable jobs.

The Venue: It was important to us that we be married in the Berkeley area, since so much of our relationship had formed there. We scouted some sites, and finally found the perfect one: The Redwood Grove at the UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens. Andrew loves trees, especially redwoods, and the connection with our alma mater sealed the deal for us. For the reception, we went a little farther afield to Oakland, to the Lake Merritt Boathouse, which had enough space, a kitchen, and a lakeside view. 

The Cake: The cake deserves a separate post by itself, as Nicole will surely tell you. We had resigned ourselves to a Costco cake, but still wanted to look around a little. One day, we happened upon Katrina Rozelle, and they had time for a free cake tasting. Well, the taste of these cakes was unlike anything I'd ever tasted in wedding cakes, and we were in heaven after a few bites. The prices were out of our budget, but the store worked with us to find something that was within our budget. Mainly by having only two big layers instead of three were we able to pull out a cake that fed 100+ people and was under $400. Since our colors were gold and blue (Go Bears!), we opted for some simple piping and let our elegant cake topper and some rose petals do the rest. We were really happy with the cake, though I had hoped for some fondant.

The Dress: In a lot of ways, the dress was the easiest part of the wedding process. When my mother remarried, I went dress shopping with her and saw a picture of my ideal dress. I stole the picture from the store and had it saved for a couple of years before I even met Andrew. Thus, when it was time to get married, I knew exactly what I wanted. I was especially pleased that the dress seemed to fit my relationship with Andrew: romantic and somewhat fantastical. Of course, finding the dress was the actual hard part. It had basically been discontinued except in some very expensive boutiques, and I gave up hope of finding it for a while. I half-heartedly tried on some other dresses and browsed around, but nothing really struck me in the same way. Finally, one day I gave EBay a try, and sure enough, there was my dress! In my size! For only $350! I was a little apprehensive about ordering a dress without actually being able to try it on first, but it all turned out fine. Other than being too long, it fit me perfectly and I practically cried every time I tried it on. I had to pay some extra money to have it cleaned, pressed, and most importantly, hemmed and bustled, but the extra $150 for this was completely worth it.

The Ceremony: I feel like our ceremony was a very personal one. Since neither of us are religious, we knew we didn't want any references to God in our wedding (this was another reason we wanted a friend to marry us instead of a clergyman). We had musically inclined friends playing a song from "The Lord of the Rings" as I walked down the aisle. I had really wanted to include my mother and grandmother in my wedding, since I'm very close to both, and the best way was to have them assemble my bouquet for me when I reached the altar. Our officiant had prepared some very personal words that really described our relationship well. We wrote our own vows, which were a big cause for stress, believe me, but totally worth it. We also had our guests swear a community vow to help us in our marriage, which I think was a nice way to include our friends and families in our wedding and it made the wedding seem more than just about me and Andrew.

The Reception: We had a lag time between the ceremony and reception, because we needed the time to get over to Oakland to set up the reception venue, and we wanted to give our guests time to rest or eat lunch before the dinner. A handful of faithful friends and the entire wedding party plus their significant others all joined us in transforming the Boathouse into a blue and gold dance hall. My step-dad and aunt got right into the kitchen to prepare the evenings meal, fettuccini alfredo with salad and bread, while others decorated the tables, arranged chairs, and set out drinks and appetizers. I really liked that our food table was internationally themed, providing open-faced sandwiches from Denmark, French cheese, and even some Turkish delight that I had picked up that summer when I was traveling the Middle East. We had so much food and alcohol we ended up donating some to a homeless shelter after the wedding (well, not the alcohol, I think friends took that home!). Our evening began with a swing dance lesson for our guests, provided as a wedding gift from some dancing friends, while everyone else drank and munched on snacks until dinner. After dinner came dancing (to music coordinated by a friend), cake, and the usual garter/bouquet toss.

The Honeymoon: We weren't sure we were going to be able to have a honeymoon, since our budget was so tight, but at the last minute we caved and decided, "What the heck!?" and booked some tickets to Mexico on our credit card. I think a honeymoon was really important for us, because a lot of our relationship had involved travel (and we were getting ready to leave for Peace Corps). Thankfully, we signed up for a honeymoon registry and received over $2,000 for our trip from guests. We also received another $2,500 in cash at the wedding, so we ended up being able to afford it all. We chose Mexico because we had recently traveled to the western part of Mexico (on disastrous trip with ex-bridesmaid) and really wanted to see the Caribbean part. We didn't book a tour or even hotels. We took everything day by day and visited beaches and ruins, swam with whale sharks, and drank at least one pina colada a day. It was a prefect honeymoon, and really set the pace for the first four years of our marriage, which we've spent country-hopping around the world.

The Regrets: My biggest regret was not having a professional photographer. We had decided that this would be too expensive, and an amateur photographer friend had offered to do our wedding for free, so we jumped on the chance. The only problem was, this was her first wedding, so she didn't know how to set up shots like a professional would, and of course, she was also a guest, so she didn't get everything we wanted because she was also having fun and hanging out with friends. In addition, we had hired some friends of a friend to come and serve food and clean up, but they never showed up. This left the burden on my family and friends, which made for a very long and stressful night. 

The Best Parts: I'm really happy that our friends were so involved in our wedding. Not only did it save us money, but it felt more personal to have them helping out every step of the way. Now, when I look back on photos, I don't just think, "Wow, those flowers were beautiful," I think, "Laura did an amazing job on the flowers." And as much as it pained me at the time, I'm happy Andrew was so interested in the wedding. It made the wedding really feel like it was ours, not just my childhood fantasy. In this way, our wedding really represented us as a couple, which is exactly what a wedding should do.

Nom Nom Nom

In spite of my illness during our NorCal planning trip, we did manage to get some things done.  The most enjoyable and successful was completely, utterly, and without a doubt our tasting at Guayma's.

We already knew we loved their food.  That was why we looked into Guayma's in the first place.  Still, free food is always appreciated (as Daniel pointed out, this wasn't in the strictest sense "free" since technically speaking this will be the most expensive meal of our lives, but the way I see it, if I'm not paying for it now, and we were going to have to pay the same exorbitant amount with or without this particular meal, I'm going to take advantage of that extra special taste of excellence that comes with food being free).

We start with the appetizers and margaritas.

I was actually really glad we got to try the margaritas.  I've had one at Guayma's before, but I'm cheap, and it was nice to be able to taste some of their signature ones, even though we decided not to go with the margarita pitchers.  We knew the chips and salsa were excellent, but the guacamole was new to us, and even though it was not the world's most exciting guacamole, it was made from some of the freshest avocados I've ever had.  I definitely appreciated that.

I'm so mad at myself for not getting a picture of the empanadas as I intend them to be my main course at the wedding.  I was a little too intent on wolfing them down to remember my camera.  But they are one of the best Mexican dishes I have ever eaten.  Flaky crusts encompass gobs fantastic cheese mixed with a touch of potato and mushrooms or zucchini.  Nothing overpowers the taste of the cheese, but the other ingredients keep the large amounts of cheese from being sickening.  They are perfectly balanced and by far my favorite part of any Guayma's meal.

I also failed to get pictures of the cactus and plantain tamales we ordered, but we decided not to include them anyway.  We were thinking about having them as one of the main dishes since we have some vegetarians coming and wanted them to feel included, but even though they were delicious, they just didn't feel like a main dish.  In the end, there will be enough vegetarian food that I highly doubt the few people with restrictions who are coming will feel cheated (hint to vegetarian guests:  if this does bother you, let me know please, we are definitely willing to accommodate you, it's just that it will cost us extra).

After all that (can you believe we're still on appetizers?), we tasted the salad.

This was definitely the least whelming part of the meal, but it was still really good for salad.  They pretty much sold me just on the goat cheese and (oh so) fresh avocado.

Then, after eating way, way too much of our delicious appetizers, we moved on to the main courses.

The steak and chicken skewers were so succulent and flavorful that I forgot all about the vegetarian tamales, and for me, the pseudo-vegetarian who orders tamales at every Mexican restaurant, that's saying something.  I didn't try the shrimp because I don't eat seafood, but Daniel was definitely in love with it, and I did poke my finger in the sauce which was excellent:  spicy but not overpowering, just flavorful.  So good.  And it all came with beans, rice, and tortillas which frankly was overkill for our poor stomachs, but that's another thing the vegetarians can eat, so I'm glad we'll have them.  Plus, it'll be good to have something for people who don't like spicy food (how can you live with spicy?!) cuz there's not going to be much else for them.

And then, with overflowing stomachs, we entered my favorite part of the meal:  dessert!

*All Personal Photos

My poor digestive system was so unprepared for more food at this point, but I'm still disappointed that we were unable to finish all three desserts because they were. so. good.  No one would ever have to sell me on chocolate mousse pie, but with its firm yet creamy and chocolately texture, this dessert certainly did not disappoint.  We had had the coconut flan before and were astounded by its perfect texture and caramelly coconut flavor, but this time they added fresh berry sauce which made it all the more attractive.  But strange as it may sound, nothing could compare to the churros.  Daniel has been very put off since that first heavenly bite because he says he will never be able to eat churros again.  Nothing will be as good.  No theme park churro will be worth it.  Not even Disneyland's.  Nothing could compare to the perfect churro crust stuffed with caramel.  Add ice cream for dipping, and these are the perfect churros.  No exceptions, no competition.

I am so screwed.  I don't want to be as unpleasantly bursting at my wedding as I was after this tasting, but I want to eat everything because it was SO GOOD!  Dessert's going to be the hardest because we'll have our cake too, and I HAVE to have ALL OF IT!  Daniel's just going to have to share everything with me.  Oh man.  The one and only thing I wish Guayma's had done different is they gave us full servings of everything which was soooo unnecessary.  But they wouldn't let us bring anyone with us, so it would have been nice to either have reasonable portions or at least people to share with because OMG SO MUCH FOOOOOD.

Yeah, but in conclusion, such good food, such amazingly good food.  Seriously, if you ever visit the Bay Area, go to Guayma's.  It's so worth it, and it's so unique which makes it even better.

Was food a priority for you?

Dressing up the Ladies: the Search Begins

I'm not gonna lie, I was a little concerned about starting to look for bridesmaid dresses.  One of my girls is really not into girly stuff, and I thought finding a formal dress she liked would be pretty challenging.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that both of my girls are much more concerned with my wants than theirs though I still really want to find a dress that they like.  And today, we were able to find several that could work which was much more than I was hoping for.

Before we started shopping, I sat them down just to talk about what I expected from them and what I really do not give a shit about.  They thought this was hilarious.  Apparently, I was a little too organized about this, but I've heard sooooooooo many people suggest that you make your intentions clear in the beginning to avoid problems, so I'm glad I did it.  Besides, it gave them a laugh.

Then it was off to the bridal salon.

I have no idea where my taste in bridesmaid dresses came from.  It certainly isn't my taste for myself.  But for some reason I've been looking at form-fitting halter dresses with flowy bits on one side.  Fortunately, this works for the girls anyway because neither of them wants a strapless dress, and they seem to be attracted to similar kinds of dresses.

Our first shopping trip yielded these:

*All Personal Photos

I apologize for the poor picture quality, but I was taking them on the fly.  We especially like the last two, and despite Megan's face in the last one, that was probably the favorite of the day.  Though we also really liked number two, especially because it was already in the right color (I never could separate the current color from the dress in my head), and it's got the flowy bit on the side that I like.

It was a good first start, but I get the feeling we aren't going to get the dresses at a bridal salon.  Department store dresses and formal dresses are just so much cheaper, and above all else, I do not want this wedding to be a financial burden on my bridesmaids.  So the plan is to check out some of the cheaper stores like David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo, and then scour the racks for prom and formal dresses that will make things a bit easier for them.

But for now, don't they look awesome?

Wish Me Luck!

I'm going in for surgery tomorrow.  Wish me luck!