Sunday, February 21, 2010

Search for a Theme . . . Maybe

One of the things the Ce and I had no trouble agreeing on is that we do not want a theme for our wedding.  At least, not a real one that we stick to.  I'm not really a theme kinda gal because themes always make me feel limited.  I want to include, well, everything that I want to include.

But at the same time, I do think that themed weddings look really good.  A friend of mine has a crazy awesome vintage lace and maps theme going on for her wedding, and the thought and detail she has put into it is not only extremely impressive but is bound to look sensational when the day arrives even though she's on a really tight budget.  It seems that much of her inspiration comes from the theme, and I'm afraid that if I don't have something tying things together, it will too overwhelming to try to decide how to decorate.  By the way, you should really check out Laura's blog, The Bride Side of Life.  She really knows what she's doing, and since she is the only person I know my age who is getting married, and because we started our dress hunting adventures together, I will probably be referring to her stuff often.

Here are some other themed weddings that worked out really well.  All of them are way too extreme for us, but some of them have cool ideas that I have every intention of stealing.  I'm going to refrain from going photo-happy out of respect, but you should really check these sites out!  They have some amazing ideas!

Pagan/Druid Wedding:

Mostly, I love the clothes at this wedding, but they have some nifty details as well, including chalices, scrolls, and a wedding dog!

Geeky Vegan Wedding:

The Ce and I both have geeky tendencies, so this wedding was like the wedding we'll never have.  But really, who wouldn't want a dinosaur at their wedding?  And I LOVE that they engraved their rings with the Star Wars reference, "I know."  Some of the ideas I got from this wedding that we would definitely think about using include naming each table after a fictional place and playing a "first Rock Band song" together.

Dia de los Muertos:


Not my kind of thing at all, but this looked really amazing.  I especially loved the bride's outfit.  That hat really made the wedding for me.

All of these weddings make me want to have a theme...but in the end, I still think we're better off incorporating things that we like into the wedding instead of sticking with something in particular.  Perhaps we can do something simple like sticking to a color scheme to help tie things together.  Since we'll be near the ocean, doing shades of blue and green seems like it would be easy and appropriate while incorporating colors we both like.  Or maybe we could do an eclectic theme, toned down to suit our tastes, that would encourage us to include various aspects of both of our lives.

What do you think?  Is it better to go all out on a theme and make your wedding look awesome or to stick with what you like and not give a shit about whether other people get it?  Should we do something basic to tie everything together or just not worry about it as long as everything looks good on its own?  Is it going to be much harder to get ideas if we don't have a theme?  I really want your opinions on this, especially anyone who has been involved in planning a wedding, I could definitely use your advice.


  1. Welcome to the world of wedding blogging, and thanks for the shoutout! I think it's important to draw a line between a full-blown theme and a motif or overall style/theme. While I commonly refer to our Vintage maps/lace stuff as a theme, I really just see it as a motif that helps guide my decisions and brings tons of inspiration of its own. While ours is a little more specific and thus a bit "themey", I think any well-planned event has some kind of motif tying it all together - even if the motif is "traditional wedding". I highly suggest that you start putting together an inspiration board of clipped images that you like and see how it all starts to fit - you can also look into common wedding motif tag-words and see if anything strikes your fancy - vintage, rustic, modern, whimsy, bold, etc.

  2. I would definitely recommend a 'motif,' as Laura said, mostly because it focuses your ideas and the wedding turns out a little more coherent. For us, we chose our colors and used those colors for bride's maids' dresses, groomsmens vests, table cloths, napkins, decorations, cake, etc. It really makes your job easier if you pick some colors and then stick to 'em.

    Other motifs we included were Princess Bride/Fairy tale, as seen in the invitations, some of the music, the wedding dress, and a reading at the wedding.

    Another motif was travel, which manifested in appetizers, the 'homily' by the officiant, and table settings at the reception.

    For you guys, here are some possibilities: mermaid, prince and princess, fairy tale, casino games, superheroes.

    Do something personal. Do something that you will still like 50 years from now. Do something that will allow you to say "We had the perfect wedding."

    Nicole and I could have had a very LotR themed wedding, and it would have been appropriate to us, but we didn't because it felt too tacky, too bizarre for guests, and in the end I'm really glad we didn't. The only LotR reference was in the Bride's March.

    Off topic, I'm also really glad we had people participate in our wedding. The family we lived with did the music for the ceremony. Nicole's 'uncle' did the MC for the reception. Anna did the music mix for the reception. Another couple did the swing lesson as their wedding gift. Nicole's family cooked the dinner. My family bought the booze. Our second mother officiated the wedding. Nicole's Study Abroad coworkers bought the flowers and decorated the tables. Everyone helped set up and take down. I really liked this because everyone was invested, they felt a little more involved, a little less austere, a little more low-key, a lot more love.

    Back onto themes, I went to one wedding where the couple had a run-of-the-mill David's Bridal-type theme that was completely impersonal and it didn't come off. I went to another wedding where the theme was their initials in a monogram, and that also didn't really come off well as there wasn't much they could do with it (other than invitations and napkins) and thus the rest of the wedding was not as cohesive, but more piecemeal.
    My cousin got married in Berkeley, he a mathematician and she a biologist, so on their cake they had a double helix band and another band with math symbols. That was really nice.

    Here's what you're aiming for: any wedding you go to after yours, you will always be comparing and deciding that yours was better for reasons x, y, and z. Have someone videotape the wedding so that you can watch it on your anniversary and say, "wow, our wedding was perfect."


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