Thursday, September 8, 2011

Name Change Conclusion

So, I know I have a lot more to talk about regarding the wedding as I haven't even started recaps yet.  However, there are newlywed things that I'd like to discuss as well, so instead of keeping everything in a nice, neat, chronological order, I'm going to go between wedding stuff and post-wedding stuff.  If this causes confusion, I am sorry, but you all are smart, and I'm sure you'll figure it out.

I changed my name today.  Officially.  My social security record no longer says "Thomas" (Woa damn, big name reveal!  Because there aren't over 60,000 other Nicole Thomases out there for me to get confused with).

People keep asking me what it's like to be married or how it feels to be married.  My answer is still, "I wouldn't know."  Because things do not feel different.  Things haven't changed between us, and the only real difference this makes in my daily life is that I say "My husband..." instead of "My fiance..." or "My boyfriend..."  This is different, and it's a bit weird, but on the grand scale of things, it doesn't make me feel different.  It doesn't even really make me feel married.

However, introducing myself or talking about myself as "Nicole HisLastName" does feel different (I'm so not ready to refer to myself as "Mrs."  That's going to have to wait).  And despite all of my complaining about it, it's not all bad.  It's weird.  It doesn't feel like my name yet, and I imagine it will be quite a while before it does.  Daniel and I will have to be together 24 years before I've had his name longer than mine, so I'm sure the adjustment period will be lengthy.

Nonetheless, there are some things I like about it.  Having the same last name makes us feel like a unit, like a real family, instead of just two people who like each other a lot.  It has that power for me more than the words "husband and wife" do, actually.  Which is nice considering how iffy I was about changing my name.  It makes it obvious that we belong together, that we're more than boyfriend/girlfriend, without needing to say how and without having to prove that we're actually married.

Of course, I haven't started making the long, long list of phone calls to various people and agencies to tell them that my name has changed, and I might be a bit less happy about it after that.  Seriously, we'd better not get divorced because I do not want to do this again (yes, that's the reason not to get divorced right there, not the whole "love and devotion" thing).

But anyway, for now, I'm cool with it.  It's new, it needs adjusting, but I'm cool with it.

Plus, it's easy to sign it, and that's the important thing.

And with that, I leave you with the best reason to change one's name (and one of my very favorite STD videos):

How did the name change go for you?  Or if you didn't change your name, how do you feel about your choice?


  1. Yeah, I still can't get over people calling me "Mrs." Most don't anyway. Even Andrew doesn't have his students call him "Mr." I think it's more an age thing that makes it weird for people to call young married people by formal titles.

  2. Funny, my last name is going to BECOME Thomas :D Though there's something to be said about the originality of my maiden name, I'm going to enjoy the anonymity, I think.

  3. It's definitely a tough choice, but I always thought changing my name was the only thing that really made me feel different about the whole marriage thing - otherwise things mostly stayed the same. Just yesterday I had to change the name on my passport from my maiden name to my married name, and when I had to write down my maiden name it felt pretty weird, that name is so disconnected to me now. Enjoy your new name!


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