Saturday, October 16, 2010

And So I'm Back!

For reals this time.  Sorry again for the blatant absenteeism.  I just can't stand staring at a screen for 8 hours and then coming home and doing it some more.  It's been a real adjustment for me.  So for the time being, I'll probably mostly be writing on the weekends.  Maybe I'll try to do some posts that automatically spread themselves out.  We'll see.

ANYWAY, part of the reason I haven't been on here is because I have nothing to report really.  I'm working normal business hours now and commuting for 2 hours a day, so it's been really hard to try to get anything done wedding-wise, but we really need to get on it, so hopefully I'll have things to report soon.

For right now, let's talk about life.  A couple of weeks ago, Daniel went to his 10 year high school reunion, and on Thursday, I turned 23.  These things make you think about your life, and for us, this wasn't necessarily the most pleasant experience.  He's still unemployed and trying to finish up law school when what he really wants to be doing is starting a real job (instead of looking for an easier to find temporary one) and studying for the BAR.  Meanwhile, I'm very grateful to have found a job so quickly, but the attitude I've had toward finding a job is starting to worry me.  I pretty much just concentrated on finding a job that paid decently that I could get, and while this job is better than some things I could be doing, it's not where I saw myself going a couple of years ago.  I've become complacent about finding a career because the jobs I originally envisioned having are either far too competitive for me to get or are not available.  Have I mentioned I hate this economy?

What I'm trying to get at is that a lot of us in our twenties are really discouraged about the job market, whether it be finding the job you want or just finding a job at all!  And even though we're getting married which is at least some sort of accomplishment (you know what I mean), I for one feel like I failed at life a little bit by having such a ridiculously hard time finding a job last year and then being more concerned about a paycheck than a career this year.

But at the same time, getting married adds pressure to the system instead of adding financial support.  We all know how much weddings cost, and I would like to have enough money saved by next summer to have a little buffer zone in case we go over budget (and let's face it, we all go over budget too, especially those of us with little budget to begin with).  Plus there's that whole I don't want to be away from my partner or plan the wedding from afar thing which seriously inhibits my ability to find a job.  And I don't want my WEDDING to interfere with my career, but at the same time, I really want to enjoy my wedding.

OK, clearly this post fails at organization.  I guess, I just feel like life is hard enough right now, and I'm a little peeved at my wedding for adding pressure.  Of course, I also am so grateful to have someone to share that pressure with, and I have truly enjoyed having an excuse to write and having something to look forward to, so maybe it's not such a burden.  I guess I'm still a little jealous of my friends who truly have the freedom to do whatever they want (if they can get a job they don't hate), go wherever they want, and spend their money on whatever they can afford while I have to plan around someone else and am currently supporting that person (though I've got to admit, I'm pretty happy that I am capable of supporting someone else.  I never thought that I would be the bread winner in the relationship, and even though it's temporary, I feel like that's an accomplishment).

So in conclusion, the economy sucks, getting married in this economy sucks, but wanting to get married to your partner definitely doesn't suck.

Most of you are older than me.  How's your career going?  Do you have any advice for someone trying to get started in life?


  1. We haven't looked for jobs yet because we are so preoccupied with wedding stuff and getting settled in America again, but ideally when I start looking for jobs I'd like something that makes me happy AND brings in an adequate salary. The sad part is this probably won't happen. I am older than you and don't have my life "started" yet (well, at least not in America) :D

    My plan is to find something where I can at least grow, even if I hate it. That's such a Japanese attitude but I think it's practical. Keep your head up, kid, everyone has to pay their dues! You'll only go up from here! Oh, the places you'll go!

    How's the venue search coming along?

  2. Thanks Kristin. At least you got to live abroad though. That's what I really want to do right now, but with the wedding, it's going to have to wait a bit, especially if Daniel gets a real job. Can't pass that up right now.

    The venue search has come down to two places. We like one better, but it's also more expensive, so we're trying to figure out how doable that one is. I'll probably do a post about it next week. Thanks for asking!

  3. it really is difficult trying to find something for both. i'm thankful that at the moment, it seems like we have things sort of figured out -- that i'm working until august and he is too, and then i'm going to grad school. the scary part is trying to find work for him, then. and then, after ... i have no diea and try to not think about.

    at least one good thing about you two is that law is practiced everywhere!


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