Beautification

HI!  Did you miss me?  I missed you.  Though the absence has definitely been helpful I think.  I've been less stressed and sleeping a little better.

But I had to tell you about some stuff.

I never really talked about how I planned to pretty myself up.  Normally, I don't do much.  My everyday routine is basically to brush my hair.  I don't wear make-up unless it's a special occasion, I can count the number of times I've had my nails done on one hand, and I rarely do anything interesting with my hair.

But of course for the wedding, I wanted to do something a little more special.

Really, for me, I'm going all out.  My hair, make-up, and nails will all be done by professionals.

And today, for the first time ever, I got my legs waxed.

Now, there is a reason this was the first time ever.  I do not do well with pain, especially unnecessary pain, and I was really scared that if I started, I wouldn't be able to finish.

Turns out, not so bad.  I mean, it wasn't pleasant, but I definitely wasn't dying either.  The only part that really hurt was the bikini wax, and I knew that was going to be bad.  But even then, it could have been a lot worse.

Of course, I was on industrial strength pain killers (industrial strength = basically Vicodin), so that may have lessened the effect a bit.

But still, I was very pleased with the experience.  If you live in San Jose, European Wax Center on Saratoga is worth checking out.

My other beautifying plans are much less terrifying.  I still need to figure out where I'll get a mani/pedi, but I doubt that will be noteworthy.

My make-up I have always wanted to do at Sephora.  It's a little far from the wedding, but we're going anyway.  I was surprised by how cheap it is.  All you have to do is buy a $50 gift card, and they'll do your make-up for free!  I am so willing to spend $50 on stuff so that I can get my make-up done.  I totally would have paid $50 anyway, so I'm pretty excited about that.  Plus, I'm probably going to need a touch up before the ceremony, so it'll be good to have an excuse to buy their make-up.

I'm kind of excited about going all out for the prettifying stuff.  I never do, and it's nice to have an excuse--and funds that are not entirely mine--to do it with.

1 Month Left

OMG

Last Depressing Post for a While

There is just over a month left until the wedding, and I'm really starting to feel the toll's it's taken on me.  I'm stressed out, I'm not sleeping well, I'm tired all the time, and there are giant bags under my eyes that have been there for months.  It's not all because of the wedding, but most of it is.  I really need a real break, but I don't have time to take one, and there's still so much to do.  I guess this kind of talk is why one of my friends told me she is afraid to have a wedding after reading my blog.

So I'm trying to do something about it so that this wedding isn't the death of me (yes, I'm not completely stupid).  Though I haven't been able to take many days to not think about the wedding, I'm trying to break my day up into work hours, wedding hours, and me hours so that I'll actually get a break.  I'm trying to get outside and get exercise though I got a knee injury a couple months ago that is making it difficult.  I try to do what I can to relax.  And I try to delegate what I can and then not end up checking up on people constantly (not doing so great on this, but I'm trying).

Another thing I've been doing is trying only to do what's necessary for the wedding which means not writing here much.  Any extra thinking about it is unhelpful, so I guess I'm going to be one of those people who disappears before the wedding.  Worry not, I'll catch up on whatever I missed after.

Do you feel like the wedding took a physical and/or mental toll on you?  Did you feel like you were never going to get everything done?  Did you have people hounding you about all the details of what they were supposed to do?

And so the man hunt begins...

Our RSVP cards were due yesterday.  Here's the verdict:

Yes:  62
No:  24
Non-responsive:  29
Non-responsive members of immediate family and wedding party:  5 (grrrrr)
Persons who invited themselves:  1 (officially)

Could be worse, but it still makes me angry that so many people haven't responded.  And I'm really angry about the person who invited herself, but that's another story.

Share the love.  How many people did you have to hunt down?  How many people invited themselves?  How difficult was it for you to actually get a real count?

Bachelorette Party, You Were Not Supposed to Be This Complicated

Half of the 478390789543 emails I sent my bridesmaids the other day were about the bachelorette party.

The bachelorette party has always been kind of problematic because no one I know lives in the same area.  My lady friends are spread out all across California and beyond, and none of them live near me (closest friend invited to the wedding is an hour away).

I wanted to do something that would be doable for everyone (at least everyone in California).  That meant doing the bachelorette party in Southern California but ideally north of LA so that I and the other NorCal residents wouldn't have to drive as far.  Once I started thinking about it that way, the "where" was easy to decide:  Santa Barbara.

I freaking love Santa Barbara.  If I was going to pick anywhere to settle down, it would be there.  It's the perfect compromise between NorCal and SoCal, both for our lives and for this party.

It would have been a whirlwind weekend of wine tastings, beach lounging, and the requisite karaoke bar (karaoke bar = love) with a kind of "Sideways but less depressing" theme.

However, finding a time to go became problematic very quickly.  My work schedule is extremely unpredictable, and I had to wait to figure it out until I got my summer schedule.  That left only one weekend when I could go with all of the other crap that's going on this summer, and my MOH couldn't do it that weekend.

Saying I was disappointed would be a pretty intense understatement.  I didn't want to have my bachelorette party without my MOH, but I couldn't see another way to even HAVE a bachelorette party.

So I sent out a tester email, trying to get an idea of how many people would go the one weekend I could do it.  The results were staggeringly disappointing.  Despite my assurances that we would do this as cheaply as possible, very few people were willing to go, and money was the main deterrent.

I get that this is my big day and not theirs, and I get that a lot of my friends don't have a lot of money right now.  I'm in the same boat finance-wise, so I really do understand their situation.  But I was heartbroken to see the overwhelming lack of enthusiasm.  I tried SO HARD to find something that would cause as little inconvenience as possible to everyone, and still my "friends" couldn't be bothered to even try to work it out for the most part.

All of the bloggers I read seem to have such awesome friends.  They expound on the amazingly thoughtful parties their friends and families throw for them, tell us how impressed and touched they are by the effort they put into their bridal showers and bachelorette parties.  Seeing that and having my friends not even bother to show up.  Or even try to show up.  Or even say they're really sorry that they won't be able to make it.  That stings.  And makes me wonder what I did wrong in my life to not have the amazing thoughtful and devoted friends that other bloggers seem to have.

This happened the same week that my not bridesmaid told me she was not coming to the wedding, that I called my MOH 3 times and left urgent messages that she decided not to return before leaving for the Cayman Islands, and that I was reminded that I have been in San Jose almost 4 months without making any real friends.  I really was not feeling the love last week.

There were a few exceptions.  A couple of people were actually excited, and a couple of people said they would try their very best to be there for me no matter what.  That was reassuring.  But on the whole, the response was so underwhelming that I gave up on my dream bachelorette party.  Definitely not worth excluding my MOH, taking off work, driving down there, and spending money when no one wants to go anyway.

So I was back to square one.  Square one was not teeming with options.  For a week, I went over every possibility until it finally hit me.

You see, the only other time I could have a bachelorette party in SoCal was when I went down to visit my family at the end of July.  I would be at home for one day during which I already had to have my bridal shower and hair trial, and I had to be at the airport at 4pm.  I figured the only real option was to combine the bridal shower and bachelorette party and have 2 hours for each.

Obviously, this was not a fantastic option.  After my epic bachelorette weekend plan, having only 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon really sounded lame.  Plus, none of the NorCal people would be able/willing to come down for that (which I definitely cannot blame them for).

But that's when I realized there was only one option that could actually work:  I would have 2 bachelorette parties!  The short one for the SoCal people, and one for the NorCal people whenever I wanted!

At least this way, I'll be able to have my friends and a real bachelorette party.  True, I won't have both at once for the most part, and I'll probably have to plan the NorCal one myself (L.A.M.E.), but it's better than just having a SoCal or NorCal one.

And so I have passed off responsibility for my party to my bridesmaids and other willing helpers.  I am relieved not to have to worry about setting a date or planning (much) anymore.  And while I still wish I could do something bigger, the current plan is at least a decent one.

Please tell me I am not the only one.  Please tell me your peeps disappointed you too at some point during the wedding process.  Please share your stories, so I don't feel so alone.

Rings: Kind of Important

So...remember how rings were supposed to be the one thing we got done while we were still in Chicago?  As in, way, way in advance?  Actually, you probably don't remember because it's been so long since I mentioned it that most of you weren't reading this yet.

Yeah, we procrastinated.  A lot.  In fact, rings are probably the big thing we've lagged on the most.

We have an excuse though!  For months, we tried to get a hold of our jeweler without success.  Normally, this would have caused us to ditch him, but he knows Daniel's family, so we held on, hoping for his discount.

In the end, after pushing people in the family who know him better to get him to talk to us, he did finally respond...saying that he couldn't do the rings we wanted.

So we finally gave up on him and went with a jeweler we found on Etsy.  They are called Minter & Richter, and they are based on the East Coast, so we not only have never seen their work in person but have communicated completely over the internet.  I'm still a little bit nervous about that, but we had such a hard time finding a design that we liked, that I'm willing to risk imperfection with them.

They fit all of our requirements:  the bands match while still catering to what each of us likes, and they are completely unique.  Our rings are also as close as you can get to opals while actually being durable (or so they say...).

We're happy with them.  They're not perfect, but they're close, and after all of the searching we did for the perfect rings, we're both too tired to care about perfection anyway.

So without further ado, here are the rings that will symbolize our union forever (and here's hoping they work out the way we think they will).

The inlay will be this color:

source

Here is the style of Daniel's band:

source

So, his will have the metallic color and be about that width and style.

And here is the style of mine:

source

My style is the smaller of course.  It's made to be much smaller, with more inlay than metal.

I'm glad our rings will be the same color and similar styles.  It just feels so much more unified to me that way.

We're also engraving them, but the engraving is too personal/embarrassing to publicize on the internet, and it would take too long to explain anyway.  Yeah.

I really hope we don't have to rush order them.  Though they may not ship for 6 weeks which is dangerously close to wedding.  But whatevs, we'll figure it out.

How did you pick your rings and ring maker?  Did you go for unity or just pick what each of you liked?

Getting Shit Done

I just spent the last two hours sending out emails about the wedding, haha.  My poor bridesmaids!